“We’ll keep the baby, no matter what! We are together forever, don’t you forget about that!” / “For Life” magazine – Spring 2016

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Photo: Ioan Stoica
Testimony by Alexandra G., Bucharest

My story starts in October 2014. I was 22, studying for my Master’s Degree, I had a well-paid job and a warm and tender boyfriend with a great sense of humour, by whom I very much wanted to remain for the rest of my life. I was in good terms with everybody — shortly, I was very satisfied with my life.

But everything was terribly shaken when I found out I was pregnant. Not that I did not love children. I was really waiting for my turn as soon as possible, yet that moment did not seem to be the right one. My boyfriend, who is now my husband, had no job, he was in the last year at the University and still living with his parents in Bucharest, while I was living in the campus…

I had taken a pregnancy test and it had come out positive. That completely staggered us, especially since we did not think about ourselves and what it meant to us. We only thought about how it would affect our parents, who had other dreams for us – especially my parents.

With what resources to raise the child? Even more, where to raise it? The head of the family had no job, he had not even finished his studies, so we couldn’t do anything… Who could stand by us? We all know the general view: first finish your studies, then make yourself a career, then live your life, travel the whole world, have more experiences and only then marry and set up a family. From this point of view, neither of us was “ripe”.

We both broken-heartedly thought about abortion. I was opposing the idea with all my heart, I had always said I would never do that. But in those moments your mind is not quite clear. But we both thought we could go together through the trauma of abortion.

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Of course, I had read numerous testimonies and books about women who had abortions, about their psychological torments. Now, more than ever, I read anything I could lay my hands on about this subject. Moreover, I also read about God’s punishment for this deed, as if trying to prepare myself for the suffering.

I shall never forget my happiness when I had the first ultrasound and saw a wonderful human being growing inside me. I was assaulted by a host of contradictory thoughts and asked the doctor about abortion. He asked me whether I was sure about it and told me something I shall never forget: “I know a little boy who can recite by heart the wonderful long poem Lucifer (ed. n. – by Romanian national poet Mihai Eminescu). His mommy went through exactly what you are going through right now. Think better, there is still time, your pregnancy is not very far gone yet!”

There followed two weeks when I felt as if my boyfriend and I had already done it. We were listless, sad, dejected and we couldn’t speak or think about anything else.

We were living the terrible sin we hadn’t done yet. We did not know for sure what our decision would be in the end, but one weekend, while we were in the countryside, in my grandparents’ village, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. He promised to stand by me no matter how things will turn out and he said we would be together forever.

I was torn away between unspeakable happiness, as my wish to be with him forever had been fulfilled, and an overwhelming sadness, as I did not know what would happen to the little soul inside me. The night he gave me the engagement ring I fell asleep crying.

He was visibly marked by the what we were going through and felt like opening his heart to someone else. So he went out for a walk with a friend. After he left, I remember praying with all my being to the Mother of God, repeatedly asking her: “Please, sweet Mother, don’t let me have an abortion! Anything but that!” Then I fell asleep with all my forces drained and with this thought in my mind. Miraculously, at midnight, my boyfriend woke me up and, with a glowing face, as if encouraged and with renewed strength, told me: “We’ll keep the baby, no matter what! We are together forever, don’t you forget about that!”

God and His Mother had worked through people, as they usually do: his childhood friend had convinced him to keep the baby no matter what. I don’t know how he influenced him, but I am sure it was the working of the Mother of God.

Now the most difficult part only began, but we were both so relieved we had chosen life… We felt light as feathers now, knowing we had chosen life. We had to tell our parents. My parents (my mother and my step-father) did not agree to meet my boyfriend, although they knew a lot about him from me. But my boyfriend spoke to his parents, he told them we would have a baby. Although they were shocked, they called my parents to meet them and establish how the wedding ceremony would be. My natural father and his wife reacted as good Christians and, although I told him only about the engagement, he said: “It is comforting to know I shall have a grand-son or grand-daughter, according to God’s wish”. Then I felt truly blessed.

My co-workers, whom I had told about my pregnancy, told me not to keep the child. They said it wasn’t a good moment, because I would not be able to have fun and do what I pleased anymore. Two of them even shared their abortion stories, telling me it had been the best decision at the time. I did not change my mind regardless of all their arguments who painted my life as a mother in the bleakest colours.

To make a long story short, my father and his wife, together with my husband’s parents were the ones who stood by us. The latter entirely dedicated themselves to our newly established family. They were always ready to help with what they could to make us able to step into our family life with God’s blessing. So we quickly made arrangements for a simple and beautiful wedding inviting our most beloved people to it. Incredibly, everything was falling into place according to God’s wonderful will…

After the wedding, we filed an application for the First House program with a bank, my husband got a very good job, he finished his studies with accolades and, after I gave birth, we moved to our new entirely furnished house.

Maria was born on June 28th, 2015. Now I can more clearly than ever recall what his spiritual adviser told my husband: “When God gives a gift, He doesn’t let it unattended”. The proof is that all our worries have vanished. We have everything we need and even more.

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Photo: Ioan Stoica

Our wonderful little girl is seven months old now and she’s the joy of our hearts! We always think with sadness how much we would have lost if we took the wrong step. Through her we enjoy more faith in God, more confidence in ourselves, more responsibility and more stability. And she enlightens our days with her angelic smile.

So our family is living a miracle. With this child, God has wiped away all worries and doesn’t let us alone in the turmoil of this world. Having children is the most beautiful difficult thing in the world. If it weren’t difficult, would it be so wonderful? We would have otherwise lingered and let ourselves engulfed by a well-planned life of pleasure and comfort… Through our family we are able to consolidate our spiritual life as well, by practising humility and self-sacrifice for our loved ones’ sake.

If I could share some advice with women in pregnancy crisis, I would tell them to ardently pray to the Quick-to-Help Mother of God asking to have their souls and minds enlightened. I’d tell them to listen to their maternal instinct. Once the child is born, everything will change.

The spouses who become parents go through feelings that cannot be experienced before having the child. It is a happiness impossible to be explained, a state of perpetual beatitude while seeing your child growing, smiling, breathing and loving you.

 

 

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