Iustina Cenușă: Adopted children are children born in our hearts / For Life magazine no 10, Spring 2021

What were your thoughts about family in your childhood and adolescence?

Fr. Teodor Cenușă: Growing up in a harmonious family, in which I felt permanently and unconditionally loved, the idea that the family is an oasis of love modelled on God’s love was ingrained in my mind, and this idea came with the idea to have myself such a family in the future.

Iustina Irimia-Cenușă: Growing up in a large, normal, decent, well-balanced and united family, I gradually learned to value this and to wish for a future similar to the model at home. My idea of love and family was shaped by spiritual readings and literature, the discussions with my parents, friends and spiritual adviser and through prayer and the desire to live a beautiful love story in a fulfilled family. Of course, there have been many ups and downs and insecurities along the way, but I have always trusted that God would help my family life turn out well.

How did you prepare for marriage?

Fr. Teodor C.: I think we start preparing for marriage at an early age without realizing it, through the way we grow up and the experiences we have. Personally, as early as high school, I started spending many late nights with my dad talking about God, life, family, and the future. Later on, I started to browse through some books that approached this topic mainly from a spiritual perspective and, of course, I remembered my grandmother, who had taught her children to ask God for “a good part” and that in all this preparation prayer is essential.

Iustina I.C.: Since we both prayed a lot to meet the “right person” – especially to St. Nicholas and St. Paraskeva, when we found each other, things evolved naturally and beautifully between us, and now I think nostalgically of that wonderful time before marriage. Once I met my husband, I quickly felt that he was the one I could and wanted to share the rest of my life with. Initially, we thoroughly enjoyed the excitement of falling in love, the butterflies in our stomachs and all that one can experience in that magical time of the beginning of a friendship – all with the blessing of our parents and our confessor (from the very beginning, we decided to go to the same confessor). Then, after a year and seven months, came the proposal of marriage, a moment that made us more aware, but also more enthusiastic about what was following – the founding of our own family through the Holy Sacrament of Marriage. The most precious gift we gave each other at the wedding was our virginity.

What did you think and feel when you knew you wanted to build a family together?

Fr. Teodor C.: Lots of enthusiasm. I was facing the unknown which I was about to explore together with my beloved.

Iustina I.C.: When we felt that we could set out together on this adventure of marriage, we packed our love, many gestures as beautiful memories, a list of dreams to fulfill, a lot of enthusiasm and we set out on the road hand in hand and with gratitude to God in our hearts, as well as with the desire to live with dignity and wisdom all that will be ordained for us.

What does family mean to you now, almost 8 years after your marriage?

Fr. Teodor C.: It’s the place where you can’t wait to get back at the end of a tiring day… The place from where you take so much power that you sometimes feel that you could move the mountains… It’s the context where you feel so blessed that you feel compelled to raise your eyes in gratitude towards God.

Iustina I.C.: Family is the greatest fulfilment for us, it is the place where joy is tripled, hardship is halved, where we recharge our batteries and also the place where we are constantly challenged to be better: more loving, more patient and more forgiving. It is an altar of happiness and sacrifice, which gives us purpose and motivation, and it is the place where we can feel and fully realize God’s work in our lives.

How did little Paraskeva enter into your life and how do you see the presence of an adopted child in your family?

Fr. Teodor C.: We have felt God’s work in all the important things in our lives and even more so with the coming of Paraskeva. I believe that a child brings much joy and blessing in the life of a family who wants it.

Iustina I.C.: Paraskeva came to us as all children come in the lives of their parents: as a long-awaited and desired miracle. Only she came not through a positive pregnancy test, but through a phone call received from the Social Assistance and Child Protection Direction. They informed us that we were matched for adoption with a little girl who was named after Venerable Paraskeva, the spiritual patron of the Coștiugeni Parish, where my husband is a priest. The moment I heard her name, I felt in my heart that she was Blessed Virgin Mary’s gift for us.

Adopted children are children born in our hearts, wanted, loved, expected… adored even, who bring joy and meaning, fulfilling destinies and perhaps soothing wounds, all according to God’s will. We are very happy for the way we have become parents and give thanks to the Lord for how well the three of us adapted to family life.

What do you say to parents who are considering adoption but are afraid to take the step?

Fr. Teodor C.: To have courage and trust themselves to God’s will.

Iustina I.C.: Let them have patience and trust! If they truly desire this in their hearts, and if God knows that it is good for them, things will surely work out wonderfully. Let them be ready to love and not forget that the Mother of God heals and covers all our powerlessness.

What family role models inspire you?

Fr. Teodor C.: My parents’ family, my in-laws’ family, holy families like Saints Adrian and Natalia, Saints Peter and Fevronia. Of course, we also have many beautiful families around us, from whom we learn a lot.

Iustina I.C.: In addition to the family models from the Bible, we also look at literary, historical and contemporary references. The families of our parents and grandparents inspire us, but we also look online for families who show that we are all going through the same stages and that life is beautiful if you want to see it and do it that way!

What makes you rejoice the most?

Fr. Teodor C.: Many things make me happy… I’m a man who gets excited and happy about almost everything. But the first thought that came to my mind when I read this question was related to the discussions I have for hours with my wife Iustina on various topics, at the end of which I realize that I have my best friend by my side.

Iustina I.C.: Now I enjoy sincere conversations, quality time spent with loved ones, the peaceful and deeply felt religious services, the satisfaction of my work, and the balance between soul-mind-body. But my favorite moments are in the morning and in the evening, when we wake up and fall asleep cuddled in each other’s arms, spoiled by the loving gestures and words of our little girl.

What saddens you the most?

Fr. Teodor C.: That people no longer have the patience to communicate and prefer to shout, that mud is thrown at everything and from all sides, that we judge too much and forgive/love too little.

Iustina I.C.: The suffering of others, caused by social inequality or health problems, and the realization of the continuity of our own sins…

What does the presence of artistic talent mean in the life of your family?

Fr. Teodor C.: It’s a way of expressing feelings, a hobby, pleasure, relaxation, and sometimes a challenge. It is a gift from God that needs to be cultivated, multiplied and shared.

Iustina I.C.: Responsibility and joy.

What are your thoughts for those looking to start a family?

Fr. Teodor C.: Don’t be scared when some ill-intentioned people or by those who went through trials in life. They share their negative experiences of family life. But, if you really want it, if you don’t re-marry easily and if you call God to be with you, then the joys that come from family life surpass tenfold the trials and tribulations inevitably present in every family.

Iustina I.C.: To enjoy the most beautiful gift – love, to assume their responsibilities, to respect each other, to communicate sincerely, to strive for the same ideals, to remember the worthy words of the Blessed Augustine: “Just love and do whatever you want” and to remember that you are not born as somebody’s half – you become somebody’s half.