Pregnancy Loss and Premature Birth: Invisible Sorrows of Mothers in Romania / For Life magazine no 15, 2026

As told to Nectaria Vlăescu

The loss of a pregnancy leaves behind a void that is difficult for outsiders to understand. For many mothers, the possibility of burying their child and saying goodbye is an essential step in healing.

Unfortunately, by ignoring the pain and the natural possibility of easing it, in today’s Romania, children lost before 28 weeks of pregnancy are considered medical waste, without recognition of their human dignity, and parents are not allowed to take them from the hospital to bury them. As a society, we need to learn how to value the baby from the very first stage of its development and to offer parents the chance to say farewell to their lost child.

---

Burying my child

Every time I speak about pregnancy losses, I relive the intense emotions from those moments. It is not easy. The first feeling was guilt—I asked God what I had done wrong to end up going through such an experience.

It is a pain that is hard to describe—physical, but, above all, spiritual. In two of the five miscarriages, a curettage was not necessary, and it was somewhat easier because my family was by my side.

However, when I had to go to the hospital for a curettage, I felt as though I had entered the antechamber of death. I am a nurse, and I knew what the proper conduct of medical staff should be. What I experienced was outrageous—a contemptuous attitude toward a person in suffering.

They did not even give me the time for the anesthesia to take effect. It was done while I was fully conscious, in a heart-braking atmosphere of humiliation. A more humane attitude would have greatly eased my suffering, including the way they received the idea of my burying my little child. In the pregnancies lost at home, it was easier, being under the care of my family and being able to bury what could be buried.

Pregnancy losses leave behind an immense emptiness and a longing for the souls you never had the chance to know. But God, Who turns all things toward good, filled every void through the coming of another child and through a deeper appreciation of life! 

Daniela B.

---

Our story begins at 22 weeks

Our story begins at 22 weeks of pregnancy, my fourth pregnancy, preceded by three cesarean sections and three full-term births. After the membranes ruptured and I lost amniotic fluid, hospitalization was decided upon, in the hope that the pregnancy could be carried to 32–34 weeks. However, at 29 weeks, the scar on the uterus gave way, and I underwent my fourth cesarean section, an intervention that was highly risky both for me and the child.

Our baby came into the world weighing 1,400 grams. He was intubated, and a period of struggle for survival followed. After four months of hospitalization, we went home with a baby weighing 1,600 grams. The family went through a very difficult period. My husband came to the hospital every day during those four months. The other three boys were extremely understanding. They were eagerly waiting for the baby to come home. 

As for medical support, we were regarded with skepticism; the case was very difficult and full of challenges, but the doctors and nurses made tremendous efforts.

As for society’s support—it is hard to say what it meant or did not mean. We received genuine understanding especially from our church community, where a child is understood as a joy and a blessing for the family. Otherwise, at times, the reaction you read between the lines is: “Why did you need another one? Didn’t you already have three?”

The strength to move forward in difficult moments I found only in hope in God, to Whom I give thanks that I did not fall into depression during the four months of hospitalization and continuous struggle. I saw many miracles in the hospital, but also many mothers who went home without their little ones.

My message to other mothers going through similar situations is to have hope, to pray with all their heart, and to stay close to their child, body and soul. The child feels that the mother is with him.

Anca B.

---

Last year, I met this child. I did not know about the struggle he had gone through to survive as a premature baby, but it seemed to me that he had a special joy, which he shared with those around him. He came up to me and, although he did not know me, he told me about his family. I was impressed by his easygoing manner. When I learned the story of his life, I thought that this child might not have survived if the doctors had not done their work well, if his mother had not been by his side, if those around him had not prayed for him and his family. Premature birth is no less overwhelming. These are critical moments both for the child and for the mother who finds herself powerless to do anything for her baby.

With every help we offer, with every prayer we say for pregnant women, for those who have lost their children, for those who give birth prematurely, we bring light into their lives, and God will repay our sacrifice tenfold!