11 Words of Advice for Husbands: How to Have a Successful Marriage / “For Life” magazine no. 3 – Fall 2014

From the book Marturie athonita in Romania (“Athonite Testimony in Romania”), by Archimandrite Ephraim of Vatopaidi, Mount Athos, published by the Holy Monastery Vatopaidi in 2004

1. Communion in Christ through Holy Matrimony should lie at the foundation of the family.

2. The spouses must be aware that one mistake affects both of them.

3. The husband must never rebuke his wife in front of others. Often, out of selfishness, husbands criticize their wives especially in the presence of their own relatives.

4. If the wife calls her husband at the office, he should not answer her in a hasty and tough tone: “Leave me alone, I have no time now!” He should simply tell her: “Honey, I’ve got some work to do, but I’ll call you later”.

5. The wife sometimes behaves in a childish manner towards her husband. Often she will have whims just like a child. As a man, you should try to conform to her whimsical demands, thus bringing balance in the family.

6. If the woman cannot feel her husband’s tenderness, the emptiness in her heart can be filled neither with her parents’ love, nor with her own children’s love. So deep is the mystery of marriage that not even her own children can replace the emptiness left in a woman’s heart by her husband’s lack of affection!

7. Don’t hide anything from your wife, because you will be discovered sooner or later. Tell her everything and consult with her in everything. It’s not good that the wife find out your secrets from relatives, colleagues or friends.

8. The only thing which can conquer a woman and keep the family united is tenderness. The ideal husband will not simply call his wife by her name. After they get married, her real name should only be “My Love”!

9. If the wife has done something wrong towards him, the husband should not reply immediately and in anger. He should tell her tenderly in the evening, in their bedroom: “Honey, it made me sad that…”

10. If the husband forgets to tell his wife that he needs to leave somewhere and then she finds out from his colleagues, her soul will be deeply hurt that she has not been the first to be told about it. It will be hard to recover from this. So you need to be very careful.

11. Pray together at home as much as you can. Common prayer unites the family. If you don’t meet on spiritual ground, in faith, then your marriage may not last. The foundation of marriage is stepping together on the path of faith. Otherwise, all else is in vain.

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